Embarking on New Love: 4 Reflections

A friend of mine is embarking on a new relationship and we were having an exploratory conversation on best practices heading into their new journey. Below are my top 4 reflections:

1. Be responsible: Don't change the trajectory of your life for someone you're casually dating. If she's not on the pill then you need to use protection every time. In the throes of passion, everyone's pull out game is trash and diseases are still very real.

2. Be good to her and to yourself: You practice how you play. So ensure that you're developing positive monogamous relationship habits. Don't fan the flames of terrible emotional and physical habits that can often take years to change. Most importantly, love her and love yourself unabashedly.

3. Be aware of her actions and yours: Maya Angelou once said, "When people show you who they are, believe them." Listen to the things she says and pay attention to her actions. Also be in tune with your own emotions and learn how to communicate them effectively in a positive way. Finally, make sure that your words match your actions and you do what you say you will do in all things.

4. Be open to correction and counsel: Relationships should be about making one another better. They will often expose things that you didn't know or recognize about yourself - both positive and negative. Make her feel comfortable with sharing the feedback and then be open to what she has to say (see Proverbs 15:32). Often your peers know the same amount of information as you, so seek out counsel from people who are more experienced in positive relationships when you have questions.